Conflict Resolution vs. Legal Litigation
Divorce is never an easy resolution for any couple to make. When a marriage comes to an end in most instances the decision isn’t amicable and both parties involved are more than likely at their wits end with the relationship. Whether one half wants to continue working on the partnership or neither want the marriage to continue, it is not easy to come to a conclusion as to how to split property or custody of minor children. Likely some one is hurt and finding an impartial mediator can ease the legal process of a divorce as opposed to spending months, or sometimes years, in legal litigation. People looking for a divorce and mediation will come to find that the process is much smoother than going to court or trying to deal with the separation on your own.
Everyone deals with the end of a long term relationship differently, mediation can swiftly and effectively help both parties close that chapter in their life to begin a new one. One of the first things that needs done previous to beginning divorce mediation is to become self aware as to how you cope with conflict in your life. Fight or flight is embedded in our DNA. Are you one to shy away from conflict or do you get a rush from an argument? Either way people on both ends of the spectrum can hurt their own cause by not fighting hard enough or arguing too much.
Divorce, by nature, is a very conflictual time. People can feel betrayed, angry, sad, and hurt and they can often go through all of these emotions daily and at the same time. If everyone accepts that the conflict associated with divorce is inevitable, things could possibly move a little smoother. The existence of conflict is an opportunity to perhaps see things that were not thought of previous to time in mediation.
Although it may seem pretty obvious if both parties listen to each other’s wants and needs an entire verbal exchange can go from a confrontational and volatile conversation with no good outcome for anybody to an effective conversation when everyone feels heard as long as both spouses agree to give their undivided attention holding their responses for another time. On the contrary though, if you don’t fully understand what the other person needs from you ask questions until you do. Remember that conflict with a proper resolution increases the chances of a productive and timely outcome. Mediation can almost always work as long as both spouses come prepared to listen, negotiate, and compromise. Depending on the mediator hired negotiations could be held together or in separate sessions, those sessions being held privately instead of in open court.